She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
