Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I can't put those talents on a resume
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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