Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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