also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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