So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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