no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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