yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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