I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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