Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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