This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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