Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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