that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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