I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
