morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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