I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
