she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
