So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Randomize
