I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
