I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
