I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
