i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
