I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
