A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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