no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
