Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
