cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Randomize
