69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
you are never too drunk for berry picking
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize