So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize