Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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