Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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