There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
