He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
