please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
