So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
