i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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