wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize