I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
