She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
