In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
