apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm sobbing to NWA
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
