I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
