bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
