I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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