the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
