i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i will never coherently bang her
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
