Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
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