I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
