1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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