I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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