so that wasnt chicken after all
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
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