Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
