You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
