This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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