So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
