new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
