Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
