My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
