If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
