girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize