I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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