i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
