I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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