yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
