You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Say something about gay babies.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
